Her First Kill
by whoeverIamloves
Summary: Oneshot. Sakura's first kill. Kakashi's there for her. No romance. Kakashi's POV, third person. Rated for violence.


Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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**Her First Time**

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Kakashi had known the day would come.

Sasuke had been the first.

It had happened about a month before he defected to Orochimaru. It had been intentional, and the actual necessity for that particular enemy to die had been…debatable.

Sasuke hadn't wanted to talk about it.

Naruto had been second.

It had happened while he was away on his training with Jiraiya, and the situation had been life-threatening to himself and several innocent bystanders.

Jiraiya had taken him out for ramen.

Today, it was Sakura's turn.

She, Naruto, and Kakashi had encountered some lower level Akatsuki lackeys, but low-level didn't mean non-threatening.

After a long fight, there had been three enemies left. Sakura had just immobilized one and was now looking for her next opponent. Naruto was keeping one of the remaining three busy a good distance away, and Kakashi was engaged in tight hand-to-hand combat with another. The third was perched in a tree, thinking he had the element of surprise against the white-haired jonin. He couldn't see Sakura from his position.

Kakashi had been aware of his presence and could feel the enemy's murderous intent aimed at him. He could have taken him out with one swift and well-aimed shiruken in between blocking blows from his current partner, but he was also aware of a change coming over Sakura.

He recognized the change instantly. It was time.

Kakashi had pretended to be too occupied by his current fight to notice the "hidden" enemy intending to kill him. He had drawn a kunai from his pouch, but he didn't let on that it was for any other purpose than causing problems for his current opponent. In truth, however, he was prepared to sink it into the enemy's throat if Sakura froze up.

Right now, she needed to believe that his life was in danger.

He pretended not to see the fearful resolve in her eyes as she quickly and stealthily climbed the tree.

He pretended not to see the kunai between her teeth.

He pretended not to see Sakura slip her kunai around the enemy's throat and hiss a threat in his ear.

He pretended not to see the enemy call her bluff with a smirk, drawing a handful of shiruken in preparation to kill Kakashi.

This was the moment of truth. If Sakura didn't make good on her threat within the next half second, Kakashi would have to do it for her.

Then he saw it.

She pulled the kunai toward herself. Hard.

Blood spurted. Shiruken fell from limp fingers. She had just made her first kill.

Kakashi's opponent was temporarily distracted by the movement in the trees, giving the Copy Ninja the opportunity to drive the kunai into his heart.

As Kakashi's opponent slumped heavily to the ground, he turned to look at the kunoichi.

Her eyes were wide. Blood was running down her arm. She appeared frozen as the still-warm body wilted away from her, falling to the ground below with a distant _thud._

Sakura snapped out of it when Kakashi appeared on the branch above her.

"Hey."

She looked up at him, startled.

"You okay?"

Sakura looked down at her hand, still clutching the bloody kunai. She nodded slowly.

"We should go see if Naruto needs back-up."

"Hai." She pulled herself together quickly, and the next moment she was on the ground running to the newly-made clearing where Naruto was still fighting.

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Naruto was asleep, passed out from overexertion but otherwise fine. He had finished his fight almost as soon as his teammates arrived.

Kakashi and Sakura had quickly set up camp near a stream. Kakashi was starting the fire, and Sakura had gone to wash up.

He gave her ten minutes while he made sure the fire wasn't going to die. Satisfied that there was enough wood on it to last for an hour or two, he headed off in the direction of the stream.

He paused for a moment before alerting Sakura to his presence in order to make sure she hadn't stripped for full bath. In the past, some of the more sensitive shinobi under his command had been known to do that. It hadn't been much of a problem with the men, but the one time he had accidentally walked up on a female subordinate in that state, he had learned his lesson.

Sakura was kneeling beside the stream, fully clothed but scrubbing her arms like she wanted to be rid of them.

"Yo."

She gasped softly and turned to look at him, and he could see that her eyes were red. Kakashi leaned against a tree, but he didn't pull out his _Icha Icha_ book like he normally would.

"Wanna talk about it?"

Sakura turned back to the stream. For several seconds the only sound came from the flow of the stream and the water Sakura splashed on her face.

Just as he was about to decide that she needed more time to process what had happened, he saw her nod almost imperceptibly.

He waited.

"So…you saw."

This was dangerous territory. If she figured out that he had seen the whole thing, she'd feel like it had been unnecessary. Like he'd manipulated her, and that wasn't the case.

Someday she would ask him again, and he would be able to tell her the truth. Someday she would understand why he'd left himself open for an attack, but not today.

"I know that was your first kill, if that's what you're asking."

She nodded, still not looking at him.

"What was yours like?"

He sighed.

"It was a solo assassination mission. I thought I was ready, and I was anxious to advance my career."

She looked at him incredulously.

"They assigned you that, _knowing_ it was your first?"

He chuckled softly.

"No. I lied and told them it wasn't."

"…oh." She turned back to the water. "_Were_ you ready?"

He tilted his head to the side.

"There's no such thing."

This seemed to help her a little. She finally brought her eyes to meet his for a moment, then fixed her gaze on the rocks under the water before she spoke softly.

"It just feels…strange."

He nodded and walked over to stand beside her, arms crossed across his chest.

"Like it didn't really happen?"

"No…like it did. And it goes against everything I've been learning as a medic. I'm supposed to _save_ lives out here, not take them." Tears were streaming down her cheeks.

"Sakura."

"Hm?"

"You killed to save my life."

She looked back up at him, revealing curiosity and disbelief in her damp green eyes.

"It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened."

"…oh."

"There's nothing to feel guilty about."

"I…I know."

"But…?"

"But…it just seems so strange! I knew the first time I ever held a kunai that it was meant to be a deadly weapon. That was at the end of the first year at the Ninja Academy. But…that was so long ago. Kunai and shiruken just became tools. For throwing at paper targets, and for cutting ropes and stuff. But now…"

She paused, and Kakashi saw her breath catch. She took a minute to regain her composure before continuing.

"…now I remember." She took a deep breath.

Kakashi nodded. He noticed the kunai she had used lying on the ground several feet away. He walked over and picked it up before going back and crouching beside her.

He saw her tense when she saw it in his hands, but he just fingered it. There were red bloodstains on the white handle wrappings.

"I've seen you kill so many times. I never actually thought that the people you killed…died." She laughed harshly. "That sounds so stupid. Especially since…since this is exactly why I've been training for all these years."

"No, it sounds like someone who had never taken a life before today. That has a way of making reality…shockingly real."

Her next words came out in a choked whisper.

"I don't like it."

"Good."

She looked at the bloodstained kunai still in his hands, and he continued.

"If you were comfortable with what happened back there, I'd be worried."

He held up the kunai by its tip and lowered his voice.

"This saved my life today, by your hand. You have what it takes to be a ninja, Sakura. You proved today that you _can _protect the people you care about."

Her eyes traveled from the weapon in his hands to his visible eye.

"That means your team, your friends, your family, and your village. The fact that you're willing to do whatever it takes to protect those people…you _are_ cut out to be a shinobi. And you're already a damn good one, Sakura."

Silence reigned for a moment.

"The fact that you're not comfortable with taking a life, even when it was absolutely necessary in order to protect a teammate…means you're still human." His voice was quiet, and her eyes widened.

She would be alright.

Kakashi stood up, holding the weapon out to Sakura handle first. Hesitantly, she accepted it.

"When you come back to camp, you should oil this and replace the handle wrap with a clean one. Burn the stained one."

She nodded.

"And Sakura…"

She looked up at him and his eye revealed that he was smiling. It wasn't the normal over-done grin -instead, it was a smaller and more genuine expression. He lightly ruffled her hair.

"Thanks."

He waited to see her surprised expression soften. She gave him a genuine smile, and he headed back to camp.

She followed a moment later.

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As always, R&R! I needed a break from all the romance writing. As much as I like it, I really like exploring the canon relationship, too. What do you think? :)


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